Page 24

The entire tavern erupts into a riot. An entire buffet abruptly slams into the frightening guard’s face, causing him to roar with anger and blunder over the counter. The barkeeper produces a frying pan and starts smashing in faces. You and your party drop to the floor,  desperately crawling to an escape.

Onward!

Page 23D

Even though you probably skipped – I mean, didn’t ask any questions  just so you can keep on reading – I mean, adventuring, you celebrate over the fact that you have infinitely more information than you did before concerning your upcoming quest. The shotgun wizard leans over to the Barkeeper and says, “So, do you have to answer questions often?”

The Barkeeper freezes. “You asked a fourth question,” he thunders.

The bar falls silent. “You asked a fourth question,” he breathes. He towers over your party, preparing to smash you into the ground with his turkey-sized fists.

“Aw, crap,” the shotgun wizard moans.

At that exact moment, the frightening guard from the prison slams his hammer into the Barkeeper’s chest. “They’re mine,” he snarls.

An explosion rocks the tavern.

Onward!

Page 23C

The Barkeeper laughs. “Sure there are!” He then clams up tighter than a … well, a clam.

Back to the questions!

Page 23B

The Barkeeper smiles. “A plot device,” he says. You ask him what that means. “Oh, go look it up,” he snaps. “Basically, the Ark of MacGuffin is an ancient artifact shaped like a simple wooden box that inexplicably contains itself inside. If you were to open the box, you would see another, identical box open on the inside. If you were to open that box, you would see the same thing, and so on and so forth.”

“Is there anything else that’s special about it?” you ask.

“Not sure,” the Barkeeper admits. “It’s not like the mysterious figure lets us know much of anything about his most prized possession.”

Back to the questions!

Page 23A

The jetpack dragon asks who the mysterious figure is.

“Well, you see,” the barkeeper burps, “He is the current ruler of the land.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you say. “You knew exactly who we were talking about?”

“Of course,” the barkeeper says. “The mysterious figure is the only name he’s ever given us. On his birth certificate, even.”

You inform the barkeeper that ‘mysterious figure’ is a stupid name.

“What’s yours, then?” the barkeeper demands.

You tell him.

“That’s a stupid name, too,” he says reflectively. “Anyway, he lives in the castle of Flooph, and isn’t a bad sort of chap as long as you don’t steal anything from him. He’s very protective of his things.”

Back to the questions!