Page 10

To everyone’s surprise, the door did, indeed, lead outside. You and your party continue running, celebrating your good fortune.

The entire jail explodes behind you. You start to pause and consider this new development, but your companions grab you and cart you off into the woods.

Onward!

Page 9

Your party tears down the hallway, looking for further traps and puzzles. Nothing but a single doorway greets you at the end, however, and so, with a triumphant battle cry, you and your new-found friends dive toward the door as one body.

Onward!

Page 8C

You choose the right door.

A long hallway greets you. You see no minotaur or chin-up bar, so you assume this leads to the exit. Much rejoicing is had from the party at large. As you run down the hallway, the creature waves farewell, thanking you for spending time with him. You find the creature’s advances to be rather creepy, and resolve to punch him in the face if you ever see him again.

Onward!

Page 8B



You choose the middle door.

You see the previously-mentioned minotaur and quickly shut the door. Before you can take a step back, however, the minotaur knocks the door down and runs into you, simultaneously puncturing all your vital organs with its horns. The shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon scream with fear as the minotaur carries you over to the snake pit and shakes your limp, trembling body off its head into the depths below.

Never mind, let's not do that.



Page 8A

You try the left door.

You behold the magic chin-up bar the magical creature referred to. Unimpressed, you start to shut the door, but a mystic voice inside your head commands NO. To your surprise, you feel yourself drawn against your will to the chin-up bar, reaching upward and grasping it firmly. You begin to do chin-up after chin-up, your will draining as the bar saps your strength. The shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon are pulled alongside you, and there the three of you remain for the rest of eternity.

Never mind, let's not do that.



Page 7

Your party makes it to the other side of the pit, allowing you to sigh with relief. Unfortunately, you are confronted by three separate doors, all of which are marked ‘exit.’

A strange creature suddenly greets you, dangling from the ceiling like it’s a party and you ain’t got nothin' to drink. The creature informs you that you must correctly figure out its riddle before attempting to exit. if you don’t listen to the riddle, it says, you have a 66% chance of dying. If you do, it says, you still have a 66% chance of dying, but at least you have some sort of hint. Seeing no other option, you agree to the creature’s terms.

Before you rests three separate doors

Beyond one lies freedom and more

Beyond another lies a minotaur

And the last contains an enchanted chin-up bar

The minotaur will destroy you in two seconds flat

Then chew and devour your quivering fat

The bar, while ridiculous, is entirely magic

And will lock you into a fate that is tragic

While my rhymes are weak at best

I’m here to help you through your test

When one means one, and the next means “Fight!”

Choose the door that says, “all right!”

 The riddle is annoying and completely unneeded. You don’t see why you had to listen to its foul and grotesque mishandling of whatever language you happen to speak, and you dearly hope you never have to listen to the like ever again. In any case, the ‘horrors’ behind each door don’t sound too dangerous, and you’re sure you can quickly shut the door before anything charges out at you. And what’s so frightening about a chin-up bar, anyway?

A.      Choose the door on the left

B.      Choose the door in the middle

C.      Choose the door on the right

Page 6C

You use the rope to swing across.

Striking a pose like Indiana Jones, who, thanks to your poor memory, you may or may not have ever heard of, you use the rope to grab the edge of the hook. The shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon leap onto your back, and you swing across the pit in a totally magnificent manner. If there were any ladies—or dudes, you suppose—watching you at this moment, they would be putty in your hands. Putty, you say.

Onward!

Page 6B

You ignore the shotgun wizard and sidle along the edge.

The three of you start to sidle along the edge of the pit. Before you’re halfway across, several of the inmates and guards come storming around the selfsame corner you did. Unfortunately, their momentum keeps them going right into the snake pit, causing you to once again pause and consider its practicality.

Onward!

Page 6A

You ignore the jetpack dragon and use the propulsion machine to rocket all three of you across.

You and the shotgun wizard jump onto the jetpack dragon’s back, demanding he take you across despite his warning. The jetpack dragon hesitantly revs the propulsion machine, and the three of you start to make your crossing. Unfortunately, only a few feet in, the propulsion machine sputters and dies.

As the three of you plummet to your deaths, you calmly ask the jetpack dragon if he could please use his wings. The jetpack dragon's only response is to reply, “I have wings?”

The three of you are instantly devoured.

Never mind, let’s not do that.

Page 5

You and your party turn the corner and nearly fall into a writhing snake pit. Before considering your options, you briefly puzzle over the practicality of keeping a snake pit inside a prison.

The shotgun wizard points out that there is a hook hanging over the pit. The jetpack dragon informs you the propulsion machine does not have enough thrust to carry all three of you across. Absent-mindedly reaching into your belt, you feel a rope-like object. Upon further inspection, you realize it is not only rope-like, but, in all actuality, a rope.

A. Ignore the jetpack dragon and use the propulsion machine to rocket all three of you across.

B. Ignore the shotgun wizard and sidle along the edge.

C. Use the rope to swing across.

Page 4C

You free the inmates.

Quickly throwing together a ridiculous plan that has no chance of working, you throw the shogun wizard into the jetpack dragon’s arms, punch the propulsion machine’s throttle, and dive onto the ground. The jetpack dragon turns rapidly in place, and the vibrations emanating from propulsion machine cause the shotgun wizard to repeatedly cast the Ultimate Spell. The bullets fortuitously fly into all the inmates’ door locks, freeing them instantly.

Grabbing your cellmates, you flee the ensuing pandemonium, noting a distracted yet frightening guard watching you as you take your leave.

Onward!

Page 4B

You ditch your cellmates.

Tearing down the hallway away from your cellmates, you rejoice in the fact that you have been freed from the prison with little to no effort on your part. The guards fall upon your cellmates, and their cries of pain echo down the hallway after you. Paying them no heed, you turn the corner.

You promptly run into a remarkably frightening guard, who, in turn, promptly eviscerates you.

Never mind, let's not do that.



Page 4A

You engage the guards.

Letting loose a fearsome battle cry, you charge toward the guards, abandoning all sense of wisdom or intelligence. While one might expect an aspiring battle commander to make sure his army is following him, you quickly realize the shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon have remained behind, completely distracted by their own petty concerns. The guards turn you into mincemeat, and your last regret is that you died before you could watch your cellmates die as well.

Never mind, let's not do that.

Page 3

A cold, dusty hallway lies beyond the doorway. The other inmates clamor for your assistance, but a squadron of guards is charging toward you from the north. The shotgun wizard informs you he has to pee, and the jetpack dragon starts to fiddle with the controls on his propulsion machine.

A. Engage the Guards

B. Ditch your cellmates

C. Free the inmates



Page 2B

You follow the jetpack dragon's plan.

Revving up his propulsion machine, the jetpack dragon careens toward the door. He has very little time to build up momentum, however, and is knocked back onto the ground in a daze. Upon further inspection, however, you learn the force of the blow was enough to shatter the lock.

Much rejoicing is had from the party at large.
A. Onward!

Page 2A

 

You follow the shotgun wizard's plan.
The shotgun wizard prepares his Ultimate Spell. Invoking the power of the Shotgun Gods, he aims...
AND...
Fires!
The lock is shattered, prompting much rejoicing from the party at large.
A. Onward!

Page 1

You wake up in a jail cell with no recollection of how you got there. A shotgun wizard and a jetpack dragon immediately accost you, demanding you act as the mediator between their dispute. Seeing no other option, you agree to comply.

                The shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon have been devising two separate plans of escape for many moons, and it is only now when they are able to enact them. However, both insist their plan is better than the other’s. Once you pick a plan, they say, they will help you escape with them.

                The shotgun wizard wants to blast a hole through the lock using his arcane mastery over all the shotgun magics.

                The jetpack dragon wants to ram down the door using his propulsion machine as a means to literally use his head.

A. Follow the shotgun wizard's plan.

B. Follow the jetpack dragon's plan.