You try the left door.
You behold the magic chin-up bar the magical creature referred to. Unimpressed, you start to shut the door, but a mystic voice inside your head commands NO. To your surprise, you feel yourself drawn against your will to the chin-up bar, reaching upward and grasping it firmly. You begin to do chin-up after chin-up, your will draining as the bar saps your strength. The shotgun wizard and jetpack dragon are pulled alongside you, and there the three of you remain for the rest of eternity.
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